Tuesday, 24 January 2017

"It must be very depressing listening to metal all the time" / 10 pop tracks that give me boners




If I would get a dollar every time I heard the phrase - "It must be very depressing listening to metal all the time, do you listen to any type of 'REAL' music?", I would be pretty much the same man but with a few more bucks up my pocket. Yes, I'm a metalhead. Yes, I'm tattooed. Yes, little kids and elderly people tend to get scared of me. No, I'm not depressed. No, I'm not suicidal. No, I'm not evil. No, I don't sacrifice newborn babies to Satan. In fact I'm a very nice person once you get to know me, and I do listen to other types of music besides metal, even pop, now and then.

Listed below are 10 pop tracks that gave me music boners.


Björk - Hidden Place


Björk is weird but also creative, I dig her art.




Frank Sinatra - New York, New York


This one is a classic. Sinatra along with Santa Claus from the Coca-Cola commercials has become almost a synonym for my annual Yule celebrations.




Nine Inch Nails - Closer


This is pants-down one of the best songs to have sex to. Put the video on your wide-screen, tell your partner to get on her knees and elbows, stick her ass up, fuck her from the behind while you're both watching the amazing video this song has.





Jefferson Airplane - Somebody To Love


Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas motherfucker!





Portishead - Roads


What?! Trip hop isn't pop?! Do I look like I give two shits?! This one is really good, especially the live version.



Robbie Williams - The Road To Mandalay


Just a simple yet a very nice song from an ex boyband member.




The Animals - The House Of Rising Sun


The track got pretty popular once again around 2008 when the TV show Sons of Anarchy was aired along with its interpretation of the original song as a part of the soundtrack. Although I dig most of The White Buffalo's songs I do prefer the original version over the cover.




David Bowie - Space Oddity 


It sucked big time when I heard that the legend died last year. Rest in power Mr. Bowie, you'll be missed!


Here's a transcript of a space transmission between an astronaut and a control centre that is presented as a song. Genius!




Action Bronson - Easy Rider


One of my favourite rappers of the new age. Action Bronson doesn't limit his lyrics to just hoes, rims, grills, moolah and drugs. Mark my words, when they'll be talking about rap in the near future, he will be remembered just as Eminem once was. 





Fatboy Slim - Weapon Of Choice


DANCING CHRISTOPHER MOTHERFUCKING WALKEN, PERIOD!


Thursday, 19 January 2017

Any solid death metal releases lately?



I've never been a keen fan of death metal. I guess the whole "I CUM BLOOD ALL OVER YOUR AMPUTATED APPENDAGES WHILST MASTURBATING WITH A BARB WIRE" appeal and the crystal-clear production never did quite resonate with me, and to be honest most of the times I found it being plain silly. That said I did enjoy a few death metal bands here and there when I was a youngster. I remember Six Feet Under's Shadow Of The Reaper being the gateway song into the genre while Nile and Malamor were my absolute favourite bands within the genre. I still sometimes get back to the Dead to the World by Malamor and get shivers down my spine.

I think it would be fair to say that death metal scene has been very shy to music snobs around the world and only occasionally something noteworthy gets dragged into sunlight. The music this scene offers is mostly garbage so I started looking for records at the borders with other other metal genres a long time ago. There are a few bands that are in this sweetspot between death metal, black metal, sludge and doom, and that is exactly where I'm searching for death metal records most of the time now. The benchmark for the sound I'm looking for is probably Portal's Vexovoid as they have weaved its fabric from the very fibres of nightmares and it just makes my earginas squirt harder than Bonnie Rotten on cocaine while being dp-ed. I know many of you will say that it's not true death metal but I don't care - it is by my book.

By the way the mesmerising and ominous artwork I used in the title of the article is done by Justin Bartlett. Check him out.



ALTARAGE - Nihl


Found this gem thanks to the mighty Jim Wendler and quite frankly it acted as an inspiration for this blog post. These Spaniards have their similarities with Portal, but they just have a little less substance and a little more riffage going on. Verdict: SUPERB. Let Jim speak for me on this one, check Jim's post here.



Dragged Into Sunlight - Hatred For Mankind


Although Widowmaker is amongst my most beloved metal records of all time, putting this one here made more sense. Being rawer and less atmospheric than Widowmaker and the N.V. this record possesses a sonic madness that is truly hard to describe or comprehend fully but it keeps growing on me more and more with each listen. 





Kosmokrator - To The Svmmit


The layers of sound seem to cover you like some kind of massive, thick and sticky muck. I must say that the band has achieved a similar atmosphere that Portal have built in their album Vexovoid. These guys definitely can hold my attention throughout the whole record. They use buildup of tension and release masterfully. Besides the slower riffs sound absolutely massive. An amazing album.



Friday, 13 January 2017

STOP! Demo time!


Ever since I first heard Electric Wizard and EYEHATEGOD I was hooked onto dirty production and I have never looked back since. If there is one thing that turns me on when it comes to metal - it is the dirt. The sound should be overwhelming and disgusting, and the more disgusting the better. Leave your nice production at the door, step into the dungeon, hear the bass growl through a wall of muffled clipping  fuzz, feel the claustrophobic dry hit of the snare drum, bone rattling hit of the 30 inch bass drum, heavier than led guitar tones and rough screams of front men and women of non-commercial metal. Welcome to the underground, where demos are kept in high regard and low in price. Remember, when you buy a demo you are "voting" for a band you like, never give your hard-earned money away to artists that you don't give a shit about. Keep your local and worldwide scene alive: buy merch, attend shows, buy records, stop downloading music for free - nobody owes you shit, stop spending your money on luxury items you don't need and support the scene motherfucker, give back at least a small part that you get from the community! 



Traumhaus - Her Body in Ashes (Demo)

Dreamhouse (English for Traumhaus - I hope I got this right) is a raw droning avant-garde black metal project from Philly. It is as depressing as it is beautiful. Vocals are kept deep in the mix, drums are not limited to just blast beats and everything is topped with an eerie droning layer which reminds me a bit of Menace Ruine. Splendid. 





The Hyle - Demo

Proper doom from our Danish brethren. Haunting clean vocals, occult themes, warm fuzzy tones, laid back solos, minimalistic dry drums and cool prodution. Can't recommend this enough for all the doomsters worldwide.





Fraud - Juice

Awesome and groovy plus the artwork is excellent (by the look of it, I at first thought this was a grindcore record to be honest). This single has been on repeat for too many times, and partially it is because it is too damn short! I demand MORE!





Bethmoora - Demo

Dark, filthy and pummelling sludge in the vein of Buried at Sea and Conan.
WARNING: A mandatory shower or two  is required after listening to this record!