Monday, 8 October 2018

On pain and implants

Due to teeth grinding, jaw clenching, decay, a few extractions, numerous dentist visits and overall sensitive teeth  I've been on painkillers for the last month an half or so. The last five days, since getting one of my molars extracted, bone grafted and a dental implant (read screw) screwed into my skull, have been quite a ride. Ibuprofen has become somewhat of a "food supplement" of choice since I know that every 3-4 hours a duller pain will change into a much sharper, concentrated one that will accelerate from 0 to 100 in 400 milliseconds leaving me absolutely debilitated, wanting to scrape my way through my cheek into my jawbone using my bare hands and nails, extracting that foreign fucker without any kind of anaesthesia, with nothing more than my pocket knife and brute force. 

Now that I have ventilated a bit by being all special like a special snowflake that I am, it's time to wipe off that snot and man the fuck up. This one's dedicated to all the people experiencing any kind of physical pain at the moment. Scroll to the 23rd minute in the video.

Wednesday, 12 September 2018

Goatworship: old school thrash 'n' roll

Where to start?!... Hellripper is just pure.fucking.awesomeness! If you like acts like CarnivoreGoatwhore and in the grand scheme of things Slayer, then this is gonna be right up your alley. If however for some obscure reason you don't like Slayer, I blame your parents and your upbringing, read no further. Unsubscribe. Possibly join the church of Scientology. 

The two releases mentioned above are probably some of the most profane and the most fun thrash records I've ever listened to. Each song here's a banger and is packed with:
  • 1000 miles an hour umca umca groove - check;
  • old school sound - check;
  • catchy and anthemic riffs - check;
  • actually enjoyable solo wankery - check;
  • frantic black metal vocals and lyrics composed of 500 words per 3 minute song - check;
  • Satanic imagery, blasphemy, goat references - check, check, check;
  • cowbell - check;

Friday, 7 September 2018

The natural right for occasional solitude

In the age when different types of communication are just at the tip of our fingers, modern man suffers from loss of privacy and eventually his freedom. Society imposes new models of behaviour on those having their smartphones with them at all times, and what was once considered to be normal, is now viewed upon as a bad tone or even a mild insult. Remember the time when you had your stationary phone at home and felt careless without it, enjoying your life and focusing on the moment and not onto the screen of your Pocket Jesus?! Pepperidge farm remembers! The boundaries of your everyday privacy are violated by strangers, your colleagues, your acquaintances, your friends and ultimately your family, all of whom seek for constant attention via different channels of contact, be it e-mail, Facebook, Instagram, What's App, Messenger, Telegram, sms messages or even the good ol' calls. All of this communication places a burden upon the receiver and requires a load on his/her mental capacity throughout the day. Blink once and you've already become a slave to other people's desires, placing their needs above yours not even noticing that it has happened. It grinds my gears whenever I receive numerous messages on my phone and people get pissed about me not answering right away, it grinds them even more when I understand that I'm unable to swim against the tide and ditch all the modern means of communication. The sole fact that I shot myself in the foot by creating social networking accounts just makes me want to punch my past self in the throat. It drives me insane whenever I realize that I want to pick up my phone and start scrolling through a running commentary of horseshit whenever my restless mind has lost its interest in the current activity and would like to procrastinate a bit, committing the same sin I despise most people for. I just want to be silent for a while. Alone. On my own, in my own head with nothing more than my thoughts. Not being considered an asshole for doing so would be highly advantageous as well. Over time I've grown to realize that whenever someone gets mad over me for "zoning-out" or "not wanting to communicate", I'm not the problem, they are. I'm perfectly comfortable being in my head. They're the ones that feel like a fish out of water because of my silence. Come to think of it, I don't have the obligation to entertain anyone, as well as I'm not committed to engage in a conversation if I don't feel like it at that moment. My introspective behaviour is not the result of my black dog - the depression, it is simply a coping mechanism for the social interaction overdose, the way to recharge myself, reorganize the latest events and experiences, think and breathe for a moment. I think I have finally matured enough to embrace it instead of believing others that my actions are somehow dysfunctional. Fuck them. It's my life and not theirs. I have a natural right to live it the way I want to live. Avoiding  compulsory socialization seems like the only way out. SEMPER LIBER!

Friday, 2 March 2018

Track by track review of the debut LP by SIXES

It's been awhile since I've done an old-fashioned track by track album review. Yesterday I finally got my hands on the debut album by Sixes and it slays.

Acid God - The wretched cleanish intro worked very well for setting up the mood for the whole record. It was then followed by a very heavy yet meditative part that some people would call plod. I on the other hand would call it a careful atmosphere buildup for the rest of the album.
A Cross To Burn - This track has all that a growing sludge fan needs: slow riffs - check, sandy growling bass - check, claustrophobic drums - check,  feedback - check, filthy vocals reminiscent of Charlie Fell - check. I swear to gods that every time I hear the part where Stephen screams "A Cross To Burn", I immediately think of a part from Lord Mantis's song Body Choke where Fell goes: "Your Body Chokes". That song probably had some influence here.
Fogbreather - This one's one of my favorite pieces on the record. It is meat and potatoes, nothing fancy, no bells and whistles, it simply does the job right. The main riff will make you wanna raise your fist up, slowly headbang and do the "old man's jam". If I would have to describe the first association that the riff made in my head, then it would be dragging someone through thick mud. Slowly. By their hair. The harsh vocals are on the borderline between singing and nearly yelling (which comes off as awesome by my book).
Methistopheles - Ah the title track. Steady drone up to the 4th minute and that's when things get interesting. Out of the blue - a blackened riff! Madness! It then gets replaced by a full out animosity reminiscent of Primitive Man's Scorn! Unholy shit, what a ride!
Motherless serves as a calmer interlude between the insanity of Methistopheles and the final epic that is Voidkiller. I really enjoyed the "bluesy" bits here and there and the noisy ending. It kept the song fresh and the repetitive parts more interesting.
Voidkiller - The most dynamic track on the record and for sure my favorite one from the bunch. The calm beginning acts like a passage to the storm that's about to follow... 

Verdict: Sixes hit a home run with this release: it is diverse, it is interesting, it is dynamic, and it is heavy. The dirty tones made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Methistopheles just might be one of the most memorable sludge records I've heard in a long while. A release worth revisiting over and over again. Definitely recommended to the fans of In The Company Of Serpents and Eagle Twin. Speaking of Eagle Twin, they just announced their new full length The Thundering Heard. Waiting for that one to be out in a month from now as well. Peace oot!

Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Complaints by Mr. Snobby McSnob-Snob

"They just don't make music that's good nowadays" is probably the most pretentious thing one can say. It drives me insane whenever someone (usually a chap older than me) whines about their scene being dead, everything being shit and how things were so much better in the past. FUCK YOU! What if I told you that you're just too lazy and/or probably too stupid to find something great. Stop feeding on what others regurgitate. In fact, ditch this blog as well, go out and explore!

Demon Head - The Resistance

Great tones and great tunes. Proto-metal at its finest.

Sky Valley Mistress - Ballroom Blitz

I pooped myself a little.

Friday, 23 February 2018

Music to drink your morning bleach to


Russia has always been viewed as a land of mad men and insane things. Miroed is a fine proof of that. Filthy sonic madness accompanied by grueling chaos and memorable pounding riffs. No matter how loud I was listening to this record, the volume never seemed enough, and it was not because it was quiet, it was because I wanted more! MORE! Until my ears would start bleeding! Highly recommended for fans of Dragged Into Sunlight.


Something I came across merely by chance. Apparently this band had their debut appearance just a month ago and they have already managed to stir up the sludge community. Gritty. Plodding (in a good sense of the word) and vile. The live set made my testies compress and my asshole pucker.

Friday, 9 February 2018

Reviewing current Billboard top 5 songs / Yay or nay and some healthier alternatives / Mother of god, it's all toilet sounds.

Greetings fellow reader. I've always considered pop music being like junk food. Even though you don't really want that in your body you will still get some occasionally on your own or get it shoved down your throat by someone else. Either way, since I'm terribly out of touch with what's happening in the pop culture at the moment, I will try reviewing what's new and good according to the Billboard chart. Particularly the first 5 songs are those of interest to me. Let's do this, shall we?! 

Disclaimer: I did listen to every song to the end no matter how painful it was at times. Luckily none of them lasted longer than 5 minutes. That's probably what most of the women I dated think of!

5. Post Malone - Rockstar ft. 21 Savage

Nay. Substitute this garbage with essential fats provided by Action Bronson. Don't be a Rockstar, be The Symbol.

4. Camila Cabello - Havana ft. Young Thug

The official video did make me chuckle a few times. Yet the song itself is a strong nay. Substitute this with Buena Vista Social Club's Candela for some Cuban authenticity.

3. Bruno Mars - Finesse ft. Cardi B

The beginning was actually pretty awesome since it had this late 80's, early 90's mainstream hip hop vibe. Think of Shoop by Salt-N-Peppa popularized by Deadpool movie recently. Later on Mars went full retard by trying to pull off Michael Jackson, which was mildly disturbing yet still bearable. I would say yay, since I dug those Cardi B parts on this song, and, even though some of the Mars's parts were insufferable, it still was a catchy song. Note to self: don't ever listen to the rest of Cardi B's material. I repeat do not listen to the rest of Cardi B's material!

2. Ed Sheeran - Perfect

I think my balls shrunk a bit from even hearing the first verse of this Christmas carol (violently cries in the shower while shaving his legs, vagina and vaxing his upper lip). 

A definite nay. Ladies, if you find yourselves wet for boys with guitars, why no start getting into men with guitars.

1. Drake - God's Plan

Autotunage is strong with this one. El terrible kakah des grandes proporciones! NAY! Substitute this with... pretty much anything else.

By the way I did manage to go through the most of the Billboard top 40 and there was this one song which surpassed all of my expectations. Namely Lil Pump's Gucci Gang. Mother of god, it was all toilet sounds!

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

METZ?! Not even once!

Jubilant New Year, my fellow readers! Here is a band that an acquaintance of mine got me hooked on. This has been in heavy rotation for a few months now, give it a spin or a hundred!